how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
