She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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