Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
