hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
