She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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