I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
