so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
