What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
