So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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