It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
