there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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