You're so nebulous sometimes
I wish I only lived at night.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize