the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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