We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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