he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
