Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Never underestimate the power of titties
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