She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
