The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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