Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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