My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize