Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
how drunk are you?
Several
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
