I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
