I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
