marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
