i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize