You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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