i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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