Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I want her autograph on my taint
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
