don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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