do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
