i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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