I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
