Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
