thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
