I just saw a hot homeless man
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
