my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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