I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
