we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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