If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
