I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
