Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
