Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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