Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
