Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
