Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
