my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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