At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
