Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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