I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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