I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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