so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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