I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize