So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
