i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
