he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I have feelings that need drinking.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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