Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize