I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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