well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
