Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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