so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
