That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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