i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
