no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
