So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
