fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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