so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
