so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
