Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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