I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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