So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
